so here you are, one twelve basic Family Safety Rules that every parent can implement, that work to help you to keep your child safe as you let go of their hand .
- 1. Prioritize your child.
- 2. Teach your child to cross the street.
- 3. Give your child the tools to prevent bullying.
- 4. When your child goes to someone’s house on a playdate, be sure you know the family, and watch your child for cues about what’s happened.
- 5. Instead of teaching “Stranger Danger” teach kids to trust their instincts and stand up for themselves.
- 6. Give your child the tools to prevent sexual abuse.
- 7. Every child should know how to SWIM.
- 8. Make helmets non-negotiable for cycling, skating or skate-boarding.
- 9. Cars are dangerous.
- 10. When your child begins using public transit, ease into it.
- 11. The best way to keep your child safe is to help him develop good judgment.
- 12. Talk with your kids constantly – and listen more than you talk.
- Recommended Books
1. Prioritize your child.
“ Every time you respond to your child ‘s shout of hunger or pain or discomfort, you raise a child who knows he will be heard, ” say guard experts Ric Bentz and Christine Allison. Children who feel heard and taken seriously are much more likely to stick up for themselves, to fight back, and to ask for help .
The best way to keep your child from being abused by predators, bullied, using drugs, becoming sexually active before they ‘re quick — about every risk factor you can think of — is to maintain a close relationship with them. Put down your call and listen. Sit down to dinner together as many nights as you can. Make certain you have one on one clock — unstructured ( this is n’t for homework or read to them ), to see what bubbles up and help your child express problems and upsets — with each child every day, preferably for at least 15 minutes with each child.
If you notice that your child is defiant or distant, make it a senior high school priority to re-connect : Why You Need To Re-Connect Daily with Your Child.
2. Teach your child to cross the street.
It ‘s then automatic for us that we much do n’t realize that children need to be taught to cross the street safely. When your child is unseasoned enough to hold your hand, stop every single time and announce “ Let ‘s crabbed safely. First check the signal — it shows the person walk, so we can cross. immediately we look left, then right, then left again. Any cars ? Okay, now we can cross ! ”
As children get older, they much rebel against having their hand held. If that happens, give your child some control. Ask him to take bang of the ritual and direct you ; he can hold on to your purse strap or wrist. By the time he can cross by himself, safe habits will be engrained. acerate leaf to say, looking at your earphone while you ‘re crossing the street is atrocious modeling for your child. Be certain once he ‘s old enough for a telephone, he has the discipline to put it away while crossing the street — barely like you do .
3. Give your child the tools to prevent bullying.
Bullies prey on children whom they perceive to be vulnerable. The best room to keep children from being bullied is to make sure they have high self think of and strong relationships at home and with peers .
Bullying behavior much begins by “ testing the waters ” with a intend note, to see if they can goad the target child into pain or upset. If your child is being bullied, role-play with him how he can stand up to a bully with silence dignity and walk aside. Kids need to be reassured that there is no shame in being frightened by a bully, in walking away, or in telling an adult and asking for assistant. Bullying situations can escalate, and saving face is less crucial than saving their life. For more on protecting your child from blustery, see 12 Ways to Empower Your Child Against Bullying .
4. When your child goes to someone’s house on a playdate, be sure you know the family, and watch your child for cues about what’s happened.
Get to know the parents at households where your child spends time. Talk to him about what goes on at his friends ‘ houses. Are the kids unsupervised on the computer ? Allowed to stroll up to the store entirely ? Would he be able to recognize if his acquaintance ‘s mother was inebriated ? Would he know what to do if his friend ‘s father touched him inappropriately ? What if his ally suggested they look at pornography, or play a fresh “ secret ” game involving touching or sniffing markers ?
Before your child plays at a raw friend ‘s house, ask if they keep guns, and if so, how they are secured. Teach your children to leave any room and house immediately if a artillery appears – loaded or not. It would be bang-up if your child can say “ I ‘m not allowed to be in a board with a accelerator, ” but your child will be under great social pressure at that item, and that invites a discussion that your child will then get sucked into participating in. Any child old adequate to be on his own at a playdate understands sociable lies and will be grateful for your permission to say something like “ Oops, I barely remembered I have a dentist date ! ”
5. Instead of teaching “Stranger Danger” teach kids to trust their instincts and stand up for themselves.
Teach your child that most people are o, but there are a few people out there who do bad things, and could hurt her. She needs to be told explicitly that it is more authoritative to stay safe and to trust herself than to be civil or nice. It is o for her to question, disobey, and even run aside from person whose behavior is making her astutely uncomfortable .
Predators give signals ; your child merely needs your support to trust herself in reading them. Teach your child what constitutes improper behavior on the region of an adult, for exemplify, that it is inappropriate for adult strangers to offer children treats or to ask them for directions, and their reaction should be to walk away immediately, and always to fight back and shout “ Help me ! This is not my parent ! ” If she’s in a populace place and gets worried, teach her to run to a mother with a child, who can by and large be counted on to help.
Read more: Fluffy Pancakes
6. Give your child the tools to prevent sexual abuse.
The statistics are that one away of every three girls will have suffered some unwanted intimate affecting by the meter she is sixteen. But don ’ thyroxine assume merely girls are sexually molested ; the stats for boys are about as bad, one out of six. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, person the child knows and trusts normally perpetrates child molestations, therefore teaching “ Stranger Danger ” wholly misses the point and does not protect children. rather :
- Teach Consent. If you want your child to stand up for herself in an abuse situation, it’s critical that she be allowed to
make her own decisions about who touches her body from an early age. Raise both boys and girls with the house rules that “We ask people before we touch their body” and “When someone says STOP!, we stop.” Don’t “steal” kisses or hugs if your child says no. Never force your child to be touched
by a relative or friend if she doesn’t want contact. She must be respectful, and you can ask her to blow Grandpa a kiss instead of giving
a hug, but she must be in charge of her own body.
- Teach your child that in your family, no one ever keeps secrets. Molesters usually begin “grooming” by seducing kids
into complicity with mild secrets: “Don’t tell your mom I gave you candy.” Your child needs to know that anytime anyone asks her
to keep a secret, she is to tell you immediately. This applies to kids as well as adults, since children who have been inappropriately
touched often “act out” that trauma onto other children. In fact, I often hear that another child, older in years or experience, is the
one who “teaches a secret game” to a child, with tragic results. Make sure your child knows he can tell you anything, and that you will
love him no matter what he’s done.
- Educate. Teach your child that every part of her body covered with a swimsuit is private, belonging only to her. Every child
should have (and be regularly read) books like No Means No by Jayneen Sanders and My Body Belongs to Me by Jill Starishevsky. Teach your child that no one – no adult, no child, not even her parents, NO ONE
– should ever touch her in ways that make her uncomfortable.
- Protect. Don’t leave your child with anyone, even your boyfriend, unless you completely trust them. The good and bad news
about abuse is that most of it, statistically, is not perpetrated by strangers. It happens at the hands of family members or the mother’s
boyfriend. Almost all the rest is perpetrated by trusted intimates such as coaches, religious leaders or teachers. Bad news? Yes, these
are people your child trusts. But it’s good news because it’s a risk you can usually avoid, if you trust your instincts and pay attention
to your child. This is just one of the many reasons that stepparents should never have the responsibility of disciplining their partner’s
7. Every child should know how to SWIM.
And be certain your child knows NEVER to dive into water that she has not already personally established to be deep and dependable. Since toddlers are most at risk of drowning, supervision is critical near pools or creek, and of course when a bathtub has water in it .
8. Make helmets non-negotiable for cycling, skating or skate-boarding.
They reduce the hazard of brain injury by 90 % .
9. Cars are dangerous.
If you are transporting a little one in the binding of your car, train yourself to check the car before you get out to be certain your child is out of the car, so you do n’t space out and forget a sleeping child – atrocious to even think about, I know, but we ‘re sleep-deprived parents and every class, babies and toddlers die in cars .
Train your child to buckle up. Teach them to get out of any car immediately if the driver is drunk. function play with them what they can say to get out of the car and to a safe place. ( Again, “ I ’ thousand airsick ! I ‘m going to throw up ! Stop the car quick ! ” may not be rigorously true, but will be a lot easier for your child to say than “ You ‘re behaving erratically and I think you may have been drinking. Please let me out of the car. ” ) Make sure that she knows she can constantly call you for a ride careless of the situation .
cable car accidents are the leading induce of death among teens. Once she starts driving, make sure she hears any personal stories you have about kids who ‘ve died in car accidents ; that history could keep her alert. When you see a news fib about an accident caused by a driver texting, discuss it at the dinner table. Admit that you ‘re tempted, excessively, but function model turning off your call and putting it in your bag in the back seat. ( Need directions ? Print them out in advance or pull off the road to check them. )
10. When your child begins using public transit, ease into it.
beginning, travel with him. then, stay near him but let him travel “ alone. “ then, let him travel with a friend. function play like crazy : What happens if he and his acquaintance get separated ? What if person pulls a knife and demands his money ? ( Yes, this happened to my 13 year previous on one of his first solo metro trips. ) What if his cell phone falls on the underpass tracks ? What if some guy stares at him and it gives him the fawn ? Buy him a cell call and have him call you before he gets on the bus and after he gets off. Be indisputable he does n’t use his earphone or other electronics en route ; they make him a target .
11. The best way to keep your child safe is to help him develop good judgment.
There is no ersatz for supervision and knowing what ‘s going on in your child ‘s life, but as your child becomes increasingly freelancer, he’ll necessitate to be mindful of his own instincts about what ‘s safe, and follow them. unfortunately, the brain of a adolescent is primed to be influenced by peers, so he can easily override that “ however, small articulation within ” if all the other kids are doing something bad. Daredevil behavior is regretful enough in a six year old, but in a sixteen year old it can be deadly. Help your child develop beneficial judgment and social news, so he can resist the lure of social pressure when he needs to.
12. Talk with your kids constantly – and listen more than you talk.
Listening keeps you connected and helps your child feel safe. But it besides helps your child spill the beans to you more, and when you get kids talking about something, they ‘re thinking about it. therefore introduce topics that will help your child think, reflect, and develop dependable judgment. Ask questions, like :
- What do you worry about the most?
- If you got into really big trouble, how do you think I would respond?
- What are the different kinds of courage? How do you define bravery?
For lots more questions to get effective discussions going, see 250 Conversation Starters for Family Discussions .
please notice : These are largely books for kids, but I besides highly recommend Gavin de Becker ‘s book for parents. These books are Amazon links with photos of the books. If you are not seeing them on your page, it may be that your browser is not picking them up. Please try a unlike browser. enjoy !